lint in the belly button

One of the follow-up questions that CM asked me was “Where has grace shown up in your life?” This was in response to saying that in last week’s small group one of the women said that she felt very alone.  This is a feeling that I completely identify with.  So, CM, here is how grace showed up for me a few years ago.
When I lived in Atlanta, from 1994 – 2001, I didn’t really have any friends.  Really.  I’ve always been more of a loner, not feeling like I truly fit in anywhere, and have felt like friendships were more burdensome for my “friends” than for me.  With that said, I did have some very close friends from college, TI and AB, who are still friends with me today even though we don’t see each other all that frequently.  But I digress.

So when I moved to the Chicago area in 2001, it was not a very difficult move for me to make: I had no real investitures of friends in the Atlanta area.  (I do have family in Atlanta, family that I am close to and love and miss dearly, but aside from them, I don’t feel like I left anyone behind.) I moved here not knowing a soul (save for my uncle, and I really didn’t know him all that well), I didn’t have a job (or prospects for one) and I didn’t know the area.  Exactly 4 Sundays after moving here, I walked into Naperville Bible Church and went to the “visitor’s center”, met a woman named Muriel and my life changed.  I took the bold step of talking to someone (  ).  Muriel in turn mentioned me to another friend of hers, Bea, who called me that afternoon and invited me to her small group in 2 weeks.  I said yes immediately even though I was petrified.  That small group was my gift from God.  There were Southerners (the V’s), there were newbie Chicagolanders (the H’s) and a host of other people who made me more welcome and more valued that I had ever felt before.  The H’s have become such good friends that they asked me to be the Godmother to their son, Bug, as I call him.  (You know, because he was as cute as a bug in a rug when he was born.)  In fact, the H’s have opened up for me this new and uncharted world of friendship.

Now, you may be wondering where I’m going with all of this.  Here it is.  Six years ago, shortly after I moved up to Waukegan to be closer to work (I was previously living in Plainfield), I needed an emergency gall bladder-ectomy.  L (aka Mrs. H), found someone to look after Bug for a few days and immediately drove up to Lake Forest to be with me.  The moment of true grace for me, though, was when I asked her, out of complete embarrassment, if she would clean my belly button before my surgery so that the surgeons wouldn’t have to deal with a dirty one. (I have to say that the BB is one of my body parts that gets neglected.)  And she did.  She laughed a little, and looked at me crazily, but I knew that she did it because she loved me like a sister.  She has become for me a friend in whom I know I have complete acceptance and love.  She is the “best friend” that I’ve never had before.  I still deal with issues of being alone.  I also know that I will probably always struggle with those feelings, even if I should ever marry.  But because of her I know that I will always have a friend to turn to in time of need.  That was how grace showed up for me.